A little bit of everything

Sort of random, but I was kind of annoyed that my allergist, yet again, thinks he can treat anything. I went for an appointment recently and told him I was just getting over a strep throat and crazy allergies and I had a lot of stuff [I'm sparing you a gross word] in my throat. His response? It's stress related. Really? Stuff in my throat=stress? It has nothing to do with me getting over being sick? I never heard of that. So he prescribes me Loraz@pam because it should "clear up my throat problem." Um, ok. And he wanted me to report back what happened. This isn't the first time he gave me anxiety pills. A year or so ago he gave me Clon@zepam disintegrating tablets for when I'm "really stressed" because I came in with high blood pressure after an extremely stressful morning. He knows I see a psychiatrist and he would probably freak out if he knew my allergist was prescribing me anti-psychotic pills. Anyway, my throat cleared up in a week on it's own after my antibiotics kicked in. I never did call back. Don't you love know-it-all doctors who try to treat everything under the sun? He's a great allergist, but very cocky.

Well, I just spoke to Faith's father and she still hasn't run away. Yay! However, she is back to her old ODD-self [ODD=Oppositional Defiant Disorder] and is not listening at all. No honeymoon for him. Her father was very apologetic about her lack of progress despite the time I devoted to her. He's very thankful for what I did and actually paid me back for money I had to spend on her. Cori's parents never really showed appreciation for all I did for Cori...or all the money that came out of my pocket to entertain her. Sometimes I would take her to do something and they said they'd pay me back, but never did. When she was at home, I would take her out for at least 3 hours every week. I don't think people realize the sacrifices you make when you mentor. I provided Cori my time, money, energy and many other resources. I'm not saying I should be paid for something I volunteered for, or that I deserve some award, but at least appreciate me. I feel the same way with X RTC. Like the last time I was there and reminded them that several girls were still without lifebooks. A staff member suggested they just "just throw away the pages from the lifebooks that were left behind and give them those." Um. No. Do you know how much work I put into those? And whose fault is it that these books didn't follow the children to their next placement? It's not like the child can come into the staff office and take their book when they leave, and most of the time the guardian is unaware that it even exists. That was certainly a slap in the face. I spend the money and the time to work with these girls. Not to mention that when I'm there, staff gets at least an hour and a half of free time. Sometimes they do paperwork, but they are usually playing on their cell phones. I'm lucky if I have one staff member over on my side of the unit helping me with 8-10 special needs kids. Bear in mind that I am NOT a trained staff member. I work in a field completely unrelated to psychology. Anyway, I do it from my heart, I do it because Jesus asked his followers to take care of the orphans, widows and the needy...but please, give me a little support here!

Wow, I digress. I really digressed. haha. Although it does lead me into something else... I'm a bit disheartened with the lack of phone calls for placements and or respite. More so since the last FPA meeting really highlighted a suspected "discrimination" against single foster parents. How can someone who just got licensed already have a placement when I've been waiting so long? How can someone else have numerous placements at once, or never see an open bed? I don't even know where to begin. Where do you even start? Who is the one that makes the calls? Because I've already emailed the workers who supposedly make the placement calls. I reminded them that I'm available for placements and/or respite. Not one responded.And what about the children's workers? Do they ever make placement calls, because I've heard there are "favorite" foster families. I want to just leave this in God's hands. I've done what I can. I've made my presence known by attending the FPA meetings [which is the only reason I've received respite]. I've emailed my worker [calling is useless] and cc-ed her supervisor. I've emailed the placement workers. I've been put on the emergency list. There's not much else I can do. Should I trust that God will send a child my way when the timing is right? Because I could also say, "I lost my job but I trust that God will give me a new job" and sit and do nothing and expect it to magically fall in my lap. But I think God would want me to do my part and search job listings and go to job fairs and put my best self first at interviews [no, I didn't lose my job, I'm just using it as an example]. So how much is too much? Am I pushing too much or should I sit back and say I've done all I can. Where is the line? Speak to me! God doesn't show up in a burning bush anymore and he doesn't send angels to give me messages...so I sit and guess and hope I'm doing the right thing. I'm never quite sure that I am doing His work or making my own path. It can be frustrating sometimes and I know I'm not the only one that feels that way.

Still working on the dating thing. No real news on that.