My first respite with girls

Sorry that it's taken me so long to post this. I started typing it up outside of blogger and adding to it here and there:

My weekend with the girls, July 16-19, was a busy one! Maddy [11] and Kaylee [6] were quite a handful. Constant sibling rivalry. Mostly Kaylee thinking everything was unfair and Maddy getting annoyed with her. Maddy was pretty quiet and could entertain herself. On the other hand, Kaylee needed a lot of attention. Thank goodness she was cute. The first night, I got them to bed late, about 3 hours past their bedtime [I let them stay up since they had just arrived at my house at their normal bedtime]. They played B@rbies and enjoyed the cats. Kaylee fussed a little but went to bed fine. Maddy followed shortly after.

The next morning, I woke to Kaylee screaming around 7 am. Not scared screaming, just screaming random things. at. the. top. of. her. lungs. So I got up and made the two of them breakfast. I promised them a trip the pool, but it would be several hours before it opened. They did some puzzles and then I let them pick out little plaster sculptures to paint. Had a hard time getting them to choose just two each. Ended up painting about 4 each. However, this kept Kaylee busy for a good 2 hours...so that was fine with me. While Kaylee was working intently, I let Maddy go on the Webk!nz site. I made a giant fruit salad and packed lunches for the pool. I asked them where they wanted to go for dinner. I'm thinking they would want to go to one of my favorite restaurant chains...doh. Why didn't I think before I opened my mouth! Where did they want to go? Yes, [insert name of famous children's restaurant]. Of course. I wasn't even considering that as a "dinner" place, but I did tell them ANYWHERE they wanted to eat and didn't set parameters. Lesson learned. Can't back down at this point. They played B@rbies a little and then it was time to go. My sister, Norah, met us with Oscar and Mia in tow. Mia is almost exactly a year younger than Kaylee, but she is sooo small compared to her. Kaylee was a really good swimmer for her age. She just hung on a kick board and constantly kicked, keeping herself afloat for several minutes at a time. We were there for 4 hours. I managed to get burned, but kept both girls slathered [well, myself too, but I seem to be burn regardless]. While we were swimming, I mentioned the trip to the restaurant to Oscar, but he wasn't interested and suggested I ask Mia. Mistake #2. Why don't I think these things thru before I open my mouth? Of course Mia wanted to go. After I asked, I realized I had set myself up for some serious stress.

We went home for an hour and then went to pick up Mia and make our way to the restaurant. Before we even got in the car, Maddy was trying to convince me that the coupon that supplied us with an entree, 4 sodas and 80 tokens was NOT enough. That I needed to add another coupon and get an additional 100 tokens. I explained that 80 was plenty and I had already spent -- on the pool and -- @ an ice cream truck that morning. I was about to spend -- for dinner and then take them for Italian ice after. She still persisted. So when they all got in the car, I set up ground rules. 1] no whining. there's no whining at [crazy kids' restaurant]. it is a happy place. 2] when the food is ready, you have to stop and come to your seat. 3] I HAVE to stay with Mia and Kaylee at all times. Maddy can go to the other side, but I can't leave the little ones, and 4] when your tokens are out, they are out...you aren't getting anymore. Setting up the rules did help a little b/c I could remind them about what we talked about, although it didn't stop them from breaking them. This restaurant is quite overwhelming and a nightmare for an adult with ADD or anyone over protective. It is nearly impossible to keep your hands on one kid, much less 3. They all want to go their separate ways and gosh-forbid they decide to climb in the ceiling thing and you can't find them. I had several small panic attacks. Sure, they have safety measures in place, but any perv can walk in the place and wait in the bathroom. I know, I'm thinking of the worst, but I just don't trust the place. It's too busy. Mia knows to stay with me, but the 2 girls obviously weren't used to an adult's vigilance. When they finally ran out of tokens, Kaylee figured out how to use a knife to get coins out of the machines [what the?]... and they also realized that if the carousel was running on someone else's token, they could still jump on. Then they moved onto the dreaded climby thing where I had no way of knowing where they were. After about 3 hours, we headed for the Italian ice place. Hopped up on sugar, we took Mia home and went to my house. Again, they ended staying up a little late. This time, Kaylee threw a mini fit and cried, constantly calling me to come upstairs. Eventually, I just took Maddy and we went to play upstairs in my room so we were at least across the hall. She fell asleep in about 30 mins. Maddy slept fine.

Sunday morning, I awoke to Kaylee screaming. This time, she was just screaming numbers, counting down from 100. I finally got up around 74. Poor Maddy [who was sharing the bed] had the pillow pressed against her ears. They knew we were going to church, but Maddy kept trying to get out of it. Nope, I go to church, it's just part of staying at my house. I let them play for a few hours [it's hard to be up so early for me on the weekend] and then we got dressed. I packed some coloring books and let them take the wipe off boards that they had fallen in love with. The second we got to church, I tensed up. The pressure. As far as anyone is concerned, these are my children. My children that are either behaving, or acting out. Both opted to sit with me. I had to hush them several times. A couple of the times when we were praying, I had to remind them not to talk. Kaylee saw me take a cup of juice and piece of bread at communion and wanted to know why she didn't get any. LOL. Once church was over, I let out a huge sigh of relief. We made it!

The girls had an unsupervised visit later in the afternoon. Time was tight, so I set up the rest of the day: 1] We'll go to my parents to swim. 2] A timer will be set, when it goes off, you have to get out and get dressed. 3] We will pick up something to eat on the way to DSS. 4] After your visit, you will both take a bath, you can play a little and then bed ON TIME. Everything went well, until after their baths. Since they seemed to really enjoy puzzles, I picked them up 3 more while they were out. I figured they'd have time after their baths, however, things took longer than I planned. It didn't take them long before they started fighting and wrecking each others puzzles. We got through it [it was about 9pm] and I told Kaylee it was time for bed, she did NOT want to go. I got her into bed and told her to pick out a book. She decided to sob and keep asking "why do I have to go to bed but MADDY can stay up!?" I explained as I did the other nights, "Foster Mom said you need to get into bed and to sleep, or at least close too it, so Maddy can fall asleep. Otherwise, neither of you will sleep." She continued to sob. I told her she needed to pick out a book or I would leave with no book. She half-heartedly chose one and cried through the entire book, constantly interjecting to question her bedtime.

When I finished the book, I tucked her in. She cried that she wasn't tired and would be bored and why does Maddy get to stay up. I gave her some quiet things to do [a magna-doodle and flip books] but she crawled right out of bed after me. I took her back into bed, tucked her in again and answered her question as to why she had to go to bed [for like the 30th time]. She crawled out of bed after me. Then "Super N@nny" kicked in. I remember her dealing with kids who won't sleep in their own bed. After about two times of leading them back in their bed and tucking them in, you stop talking to them. You continue to lead them back into the bedroom, even tucking them in, but don't say a word. I thought to myself, "I can do this!" So I took her hand and led her back into bed. She climbed back out. I led her back. We did this about 15 times, all the while she screamed at me [at. the. top. of. her. lungs.], jumped/stomped as hard as she could on the floor and pounded on the walls. All I could think was, oh my gosh, my neighbors are going to call the police. She was pretty darn angry that I wouldn't speak to her. Halfway through this, Maddy came up and I told her to grab a game and go in my room—and when I finally got Kaylee to bed, I'd come in and we'd play something. Kaylee got even madder. "Why are you talking to HER!? That's what *I* want you to do! Why can't you talk to me like that!?..." and so on. Then she started screaming she hates me, then it turned into "You are even meaner than my mom!" and so forth. Eventually, she stopped getting into bed, so I was just leading her back to the room and pointing to the bed. Then she'd throw herself on the floor at my bedroom doorway and refuse to move. She started throwing things. Yelling louder [if possible]. Then getting hoarse. I refused to talk. Kept leading her back. Gently leading her back. I was impressed with my composure and persistence. Finally, about 45 mins later and about 50 times of leading her back to bed, she asked, with what was left of her hoarse voice, for a glass of water. I obliged, then took her back into the room. This time she let me tuck her in. She said goodnight, pulled me in for a big hug and said "I love you." And she stayed. She stayed!!! Praise the Lord! I went into my bedroom to play Memory with Maddy. Kaylee only called me in once, and it was to turn the music up. No fuss. Around 10:45 [and literally 6 rounds of Memory], I told Maddy it was time for HER to go to bed. She didn't want to either. She threw a mini fit. I was like, "girl, I am tired. We have to get up at 6am, you're going to bed."

We got up at 6 the next morning. Other than fighting over cereal, we made it out the door in once piece. Dropped both girls off. They stated that they wanted to come back when Foster Mom was going out of town again. Finally got a hold of FM a few days later and she tells me "oh yeah, welcome to my world, Kaylee used to do that 3 times a day, now she only does it once a day, usually at night." Gee...thanks for the heads-up. Telling me she screams when you put her in time-out was not exactly what I experienced. Regardless, I am happy for the experience. Tired and ragged myself, I dealt with a raging child and survived. I used my skills and it worked. I feel good about myself! Plus I asked my neighbors if they heard a child screaming, they said they never did. Good to know! I must have some thick walls! FM asked if I could take the girls again, this time for a full week. I did consider it, but I wouldn't be able to make it to the child care center they attend in time to pick them up after work.

Oh, and the Foster Parent Association sub-committee I'm in, met on a day I couldn't meet. I asked if they could just share the minutes with me so we could sort out the details. Well, 2 days after the meeting, I get an invite in the mail for the event we were planning. I was like, "Oh, ok. Guess you didn't need me..." Geesh. Oh well. I *think* I'm still on other sub-committee. Then again, who knows! lol.