Honeymoon over?

As I promised you....

So much going on, don't know where to start. Been busy, there's never a dull moment. Jade got her license, but it will be a while before we can get her a car. The money she thought she was getting from a scholarship program was no where near what we thought it would be. I promised her that I'd pay for a portion of her car insurance while she found a job. Part of that was going to come from a chunk of money she owes me. I've decided to just let her keep that money, although part of it will still be the money I was going to pay for car insurance. Provided she doesn't spend that money, she'll have money for the car insurance and probably at least a few hundred extra.

Speaking of not having a car... because of it, I have to take her into school a few days a week. It's quite a ways out of my way, so I have to get up an hour earlier than usual on those days. Well, the other day, I told Jade the night before that I needed her in the car by a certain time the following morning. I reminded her of this one more time before I went to bed. The next morning, I spent 20 mins [this is a usually morning ritual] trying to get her up. After numerous warnings, I gave her a final one, telling her she'd have to use her own money and take a cab if she wasn't in the car in 5 mins. Because I didn't know if she actually had any money and keeping her from school might be considered "cruel and unusual punishment" [I don't know, not taking my chances], I left money on the counter with a note saying it was being taken from her allowance. Altogether, I gave Jade another 10 minutes waiting in the car. Then I left. I've talked to her about the whole "when I say I need you in the car by ___, I mean be in the car by ___." but she has no sense of urgency. Honestly, I don't ask much from her, so when I ask her to do something, I expect her to respect that. Later when I saw her, I didn't bring up the "incident" because I don't want to be nagging and I figure losing nearly a quarter of her allowance because she wouldn't get up is enough of a neon sign. If she were to bring it up the deal is, "my consequence for being late to work is losing my job. Your consequence for making me late to work is losing your allowance, I think that's more than fair." Teenagers!

To be honest, I'm happy I finally hit the hump. Like I said in the last post, I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop. For me, the first time to have to "discipline" or take something away is the hardest. Once I've done it, I feel like the consequence has been set so it's easier for me to impose it a second time. I won't hesitate using it again. I'm just glad we were still "cordial" after I did it. I don't want her to think I'm mad at her, I know she struggles with getting up in the morning, I'm the same way. However, she needs to learn to be responsible and respectful of my time.

Another recent "let's challenge Ms. Crayon" incident happened that I nipped in the bud by utilizing rules of DSS and coming up with an alternate plan. I feel good about that one. I steered clear of any drama. So, these two incidents lead me to believe the honeymoon is over. But it's a big sigh of relief on my part, to be quite honest!

On another note, lots of great things going on with our Foster Parent Association [FPA]. With a recent event, we managed to raise several thousands of dollars. :) We will be using a portion of that money for holding big birthday parties and providing gifts for the children in foster care. I think it is an awesome idea and all of the venues we contacted were willing to donate the time slots and some even offered to provide the food. If you are a foster parent and you have one, I highly suggest joining your local FPA. I get the "inside scoop" on so much and I feel like I'm making a real difference. I'm part of many decisions that affect the kids in care. Especially if you are waiting for a placement. It gets you doing something!

In other news, I'm hoping to join a sub committee [apparently several foster moms want to join, but the group can't be too big] that the FPA is putting together to talk to a handful of DSS staff about how they can better communicate with foster parents. Sort of like a task team. I also wrote letters to local congressmen regarding several issues I've encountered with our county's DSS. One of the issues I had, a foster mom will be using as an [anonymous] example of how screwed up the system is, when she goes to talk to one of our county's officials in the next week or so. I also hope to get together another sub committee or support group of some sort for foster parents of teens. Our DSS is useless when it comes to supporting us and providing us with resources. I think if we got together, we could use each other as support [um, carpool, anyone] and share ideas to help our kids succeed and become successful adults.

Well, that's all for now. I'll save the rest for another time. ;)