"Welcome to Motherhood!"

...the whimsical statement my mother just proclaimed as we hung up the phone. ::sigh:: Honeymoon OVER.

Jade is sweet and smart and charming, don't get me wrong, but wow is she ever testing me. No, she's not throwing things, screaming, running away...more like subtle tests. Little things that build up, push my limits. Sorry, I can't be specific on my public blog, however, the gist is that I ask her to do something and she just doesn't do it. Last week, I asked her to clean something. One day turns into two and then three and now it's been SIX days and it's still not done. The cleaning supplies just sit on counter, mocking me. Another thing I asked her to do two weeks ago, that she said she did, she never did do. I discovered it this weekend and had to do it myself.

The last few days, she has pushed the limits on staying out late, bringing friends over and not letting me know where she is...besides the whole chore thing. I sat down with her a couple of days ago and went over the rules, this time, on paper. I handed her a copy. I went over each rule. They were simple and to the point, like "respect me and my time" and "clean up after yourself." I also established a spot where I would write her notes and she should check to see if there is anything she needs to do [like when she's off school all day and still asleep when I leave]. It was all in black and white.

I expected a fight...an argument...yelling...threats...etc. The kind of stuff she does with her mom. She didn't. She was extremely receptive and agreeable. She didn't argue any of it. I explained to her that if we are going to make this work, she needs to step it up a notch. Again, she agreed. I figured she realized that she's been taking advantage of things. Well... three days later and things aren't any different. She's still leaving dirty dishes in the sink and drinks on the table. She STILL hasn't done the chore I asked her to six days ago, OR the chore I asked her to do while I was at work today. These are really simple chores...really simple.

Ugh! I don't want to be a nagger and to be honest, I've found that it doesn't work. Apparently sitting her down and going over the rules again didn't help either. So I'm silently deducting her allowance. She's currently in the hole. I'm going to track it so she knows if she earned her money that day, and if not, why. That way, when she gets a third of her allowance for that week, it's clear why. Maybe that will work. It's not even that I need her to do chores, I don't, but she needs to learn responsibility and at 17, she needs to do a little more giving around the house and less taking. I guess the whole ignoring that I asked her to do it is what bothers me the most. It's disrespectful. I was never this way, so I just don't get it. I'm hoping the money hits the spot because there isn't much I can take away other than money...and right now, I'm her only source. If she doesn't get it from me, she'll have to break into her car fund....or....or.... ::drum roll:: she could just do the chores, and earn some good money!