just here.

I've been so tired lately, no particular reason, sleeping pretty much the same at night. But I'm taking advantage of weekend naps. Just not motivated, I guess. Maybe it's the weather? It is just dreary all the time and gets dark so early. I have my sleep study coming up—one at night and a day test [multiple sleep latency] following it. I know, I need to exercise and eat better. That would surely help, but you have to be motivated first. Anyway, I missed the last FPA meeting and then I missed the Christmas party. I was exhausted the night of the meeting, and I napped beyond the time of the party. I don't know how you all do it. If I'm tired now, I can't imagine what it would be like with kids. Is it normal to feel drained all the time?

School starts up again in January. I did my best to avoid the class that goes from 8 to 10:45pm. I would have preferred the teacher, but that time slot would have kept me at work until 7:30. I would go crazy. I'm looking forward to Christmas. I've spent way too much already. I still haven't bought anything for my dad, nephew or brother-in-law! I spent more money than I should have on the child I am sponsoring at VN RTC. I didn't even get everything on her list. I also bought myself a few things! Including a set of Bath and Body Works goodies and a pair of jammies. I have to wait until Christmas to use them. I have the tree up, that's it. It's not decorated, just up. Finally put the Halloween decorations away. I cleaned the house but then filled half the living room with containers of Christmas decorations. Oh well!

I have a new kitten, he is adorable. Driving the other two nuts. I swear he things Charley is his mother! He can't jump yet so getting up high is Charley's only respite. Chubbs is finally not growling and hissing whenever she sees him. She does still get mad when he gets too close, but she is getting much better. He is so warm and fuzzy, a real snuggle-bug. He likes to sleep totally under the covers or on my face. He's always in my lap. I think he fits in just fine, but the others won't think so until he calms down a bit. At least Basil isn't clingy anymore! I still wish sometimes everything was back to the way it was and I still had Tylenol.

I noticed that according to my certificate, my foster care certification has expired. oops. I'm not even sure I have all the hours in. I'll have to call. I haven't received any phone calls about respite or placements. I had no idea when I started that it would be so quiet. Not that I'm rushing at the moment. With school starting up again and me being tired all the time, I'm not waiting by the phone.

=(

I guess no more Baggage and Bug. =(

Darn Grown-up Stuff

Since I've gotten home at 6:30, I've cleaned 3 litterboxes, have 2 loads of laundry going, emptied/filled the dishwasher, took my car to the shop to be worked on in the morning, and I even got a shower! Now I have to work on that dinner thing.

My parents took me back from the car shop so I could borrow one of their cars for work tomorrow. I was saying how I need new tires but they are just going to have to wait until I have money again. I have sooooo many things due right now—things that are up on their 3months/6months/1year same as cash. I already paid the $500 bill, and I have enough to pay a $2,800 bill, but then I'm wiped clean. And if work doesn't reimburse me the money they owe me in the next few days, I'm gonna be up the creek b/c my billing cycle just ended today. I spent $60 on cat food yesterday, I have a traffic camera bill to pay, it's over $70 and my car's registration is due and that is over $100. Oh, and the bill for Tylenol's care is up in less than 2 months, at $500. Then there's that other little bill that I asked my parents for help with. I told them I'd pay them back as soon as I got my tax refund, but I need it now. I don't know about you guys, but I like to think my parents have some money. At least more stored away then me. Um, no. My mom thought I said I needed $1,320...where she got that number, I'll never know. I need $2,800 to pay a bill due the same day as the other $2,800 bill. My dad was like, "oh, crap." I at least had over 3k in savings to pay the first two bills. =P So I hope they can come up with it in two weeks, or I'm paying 20-something% interest on the $2,800 from the last 6 months. I should mention that all these big bills were for work I had done on my home. When I got the thing that cost $2,800 a few months ago, before I signed the contract I asked my dad if he could help me pay it if I didn't have the money...he said yes. I've been reminding him nearly weekly that the due date is coming and I'll need the money. Oh well, I just hope he has it to lend me!

Sometimes, I wish I was a kid again. Other than that, I feel great right now. ha

Update on opening my home and questions

So I emailed SW T and said to go ahead and put me on the list for calls. She said only a few kids have entered care since the new school year she said it has been kind of quiet. So I said, why not. I figured it can't hurt, I can always say no when I get a call. I asked if they were still helping with child care costs. She said "the agency will pay up to 50% of the monthly cost depending on cost," not sure exactly what that means, but anything would help. Because of the daycare assistance, I told her I would accept age 2 to 12. There has been a push to keep children in their school district and since I live near 4 elementary schools, I said as long as zoning would allow, I would be happy to work with a child attending any of those. SW T seems a little more strict than the other social workers I've spoken with. I asked if family would need fingerprinted if they watched my child for a few hours every once in a while, and she said yes. I don't have any problem with it, and it's smart, but I was just surprised since the last one said only if they were watching the child for an extended period of time.

With that said, I have a few questions:

1] Did your foster children need to change schools when they were placed with you?

2] Does your agency reimburse daycare at any percent?

3] Do you do lifebooks with your foster children? Are they mandatory in your district?

4] Are you allowed to have bunk-beds?

And finally, the most important one — What questions should I ask when I get a call for placement? and any other advice for a single almost 30 yr old considering giving up her quiet life and turning her world upside down? lol....

Lifebook pages with my RTC girls

I thought I'd share some of the lifebook/scrapbook pages I've recently done with my girls at "VN" Residential Treatment Center [RTC]. I try really hard to make sure important events/holidays are captured in some form. Whenever possible, I take photos for their pages. Unfortunately, Polaroid discontinued it's film! It's killing me because it is perfect for lifebooks. Instant gratification. I had some left for the Annie project, but I'm out now. The other alternative is to take pictures during an art therapy session prior to the scrapbooking craft and then print them out for the next visit. This takes some planning. Well, lifebooks take a lot of time and thought, and money. But I think it is worth it.

The girls recently were treated to a trip to the theatre to see Annie. I thought it was a special moment and had the staff save their tickets. Then I went online and found photos of the cast and misc. illustrations. I had picked up fliers from when I saw the show a few days before them for them to use on their pages. I always have a few "interactive" pieces, such as "my drawing of sandy" and a picture of Annie's dress for them to draw themselves in. I brought in a bucket and scrub brush as props and had them pretend they were scrubbing the floor for their photos! It was cute. You can't really tell, but the one paper had suns all over it [click on the photos for larger images]:








And this past week, I did Halloween pages with them. Sometimes the visits creep up on me and I'm completely unprepared. This craft I didn't think up until the night before and it took me a few hours to put together. I had them put their names really big on a scrap and draw the "perfect face" on a pumpkin I cut out. Then I had them glue googley eyes onto the Halloween 2009 title...and as you can see, a few got carried away with the eyes. They always do, lol. I asked them all to color in a drawing and then fill out a "questionaire." Then I gave them stickers, glue and scissors and let them put the one page together. Next, they got a big foam haunted house and foam stickers to decorate the other page into a "spooky" scene. I had them glue a big purple rectangle onto that page to mark the spot for their Halloween photo [provided staff will actually take it]. I loved one child's favorite monster: Dora and another's favorite cosume: daedpody bag [aka dead body bag]. hehe....








The kids LOVE doing lifebooks and I give them the tools and let them go. While some kids need me to do a sample page or they get overwhelmed, I prefer not too because they will try to recreate mine exactly. I let the spelling errors go, it's cute. I do get a tad annoyed when staff lets the kids get into their books when I'm not there [even tho they are locked in the staff office]. There were cuter Annie pages, but they were missing. One of the girls had gone through and tore her page apart, putting an element from it on all her previously blank pages! I put it back together. The lifebooks should be kept in a safe place and stored as you would a photo album, fun to create now, but meant to be appreciated later. Well, that's all for now. I thought you guys might enjoy some ideas!

I'm thinking...

...of opening my home. Today I sent an email to SW T asking if there has been an increase in cases since school started up again. I'm sure there is, but I thought I'd ask. It will open up the dialog. As I mentioned in the FPA Meeting post, there has been a significant decrease in cases overall. So, I'm thinking of going out on a limb and fully opening my home. There is a good chance I won't get a call...but who knows. If I get a call, I'll get as much info as possible and try to make a rational decision. Any suggestions for questions to ask a social worker regarding a new placement? At the moment, I'm mostly comfortable with school age, under 12. I don't mind taking any age for respite, but I'm not quite ready for a teenager.

To lighten the mood...

Chubbs: stuff all up ons my cat. my nephew and I were seeing how long she'd sit there while we put things on her.


Tylenol & Chubbs — best of friends.


Tylenol: "I'm cute and fuzzy."


Chubbs: "this is my scratchy toy. mine. mine. mine."


Charley: "gee, can fit in it?"


"yup, I can."

And no, I'm not really that bad of a photographer. I'm trying to keep give my animals some anonymity too — as pathetic as that sounds... Names are made up too.

Oh, also, I will respond to the comments to my last blogs, honest. I just have to be in the right mind set, especially for "broken" one. Speaking of which, thanks for the shout out, Karaya...
Me, too: ¿Am I Too Far Gone To Be Fixed, TOO?!?!, I love the imagery.